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May. 29th, 2007 | 01:04 am
mood: angryangry

I just had an ugly conversation with someone.

This person and I have chatted many times over the past several months. Our relationship is purely online. We usually get along, but on occasion we butt heads - usually when this person says things which I find judgmental and insensitive.

Tonight was for me the straw that broke the camel's back.

This person is Christian. While I have nothing against Christians in general, I do find that more often than not that I don't get along with them. This is because they tend to fall into self-righteousness. I have a very strong belief in "you practice your religion and I practice mine". Still, I have been supportive of their beliefs - out of respect.

Well, this person has, over the course of our "friendship" criticized their perception of my lack of "relationship with God". I'm quite sure this is because I am not Christian; and despite that I believe I am more spiritually sound than this person, they become condescending and question my "relationship with God". I have asked this person not to do this because I find it disrespectful of my beliefs. They continued to do it.

I have enjoyed talking with this person. They are friendly, curious, inquisitive, fun, have a good sense of humor, and are generally supportive. However, they also tend to be judgmental, critical, negative, and gossipy. I have tried to be a good friend and encourage them to be less negative and judgmental and more loving and compassionate. Since many people are negative and judgmental, it's no "deal breaker"; however, tonight I decided I had enough.

This person revealed to me that they think bisexuality is "wrong". When I asked for reasons why I was given the equivalent to regurgitated, fundamentalist nonsense-logic (e.g. gay marriage ends in 100% divorce; gays have a higher suicide rate). I was then told that they didn't "approve" of my romantic relationship - it is "odd", "weird" and "psychologically damaging" (yes, it's challenging, but this person is hardly qualified to judge the us or our nearly 20 year history) - they didn't approve of my spiritual beliefs, and they believed I was making some "mistakes" with my life - one of which is my dating the man I love (probably in the very least because it's homosexual, considering their opinion on bisexuality).

They said they had told me all of this before. They are mistaken; they had not. On the contrary, they had given me many indications of supporting me - just like I have been of them. So, I feel betrayed and mislead.

Now, I have received an email which claims that I am treating their friendship "cheaply" by becoming offended by this behavior and being intolerant of it. They have told me before that I should not place "conditions" on our friendship (which they say is "very important" to them); that I should, presumably, put up with whatever nasty opinions they have about me, for what? Because it is their religion? Because they are being honest? Because that is what "friends" do? They take whatever shit you throw at them? I have plenty of friends. None of them worth having talk to me like this.

I have finally figured out that I am wasting my time with this person. If one fundamentally disapproves of WHO I AM, then we haven't much to say to one another, do we? And there is only so much emotional projection a man can take.

Why is this public, you ask? Because I have enough foresight to know that my side of the story might be of interest to some who might come looking here.

Please note that I have not disclosed the identity of the person.

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Comments {4}

Marley Station

(no subject)

from: marley_station
date: May. 29th, 2007 02:55 pm (UTC)

You certainly have a right to be angry. I myself am disappointed in this "Christian" who would pull that kind of a bait-and-switch on you.

Historically the most violent behavior has been committed by so-called "Christians". Don't give this individual any quarter, and don't give a second thought to cutting ties if you believe this to be the best course of action.

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(no subject)

from: profanelysacred
date: Jun. 1st, 2007 06:19 am (UTC)

Thanks. I am immensely disappointed in anyone who believes that religion gives them a free-pass to hate or discriminate against anyone. It is no different than if someone said their religion insists that women/Jews/blacks/old people are "wrong" and so they don't "approve" of them. This is why religion and I don't get along (and why I tend to not get along with certain kinds of religious people). I could NEVER, EVER believe that God would have those kinds of attitudes.

So is my two cents.

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hi again

from: anonymous
date: May. 30th, 2007 09:28 pm (UTC)

i'm sorry, t. i understand why you're upset. i would be too.

if you want to talk i'm z33b17ch on yahoo and zin_zang on msn (but i'm having problems with running msn on my computer so haven't been using it lately.) if it's too early, i understand.


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Re: hi again

from: profanelysacred
date: Jun. 1st, 2007 06:20 am (UTC)

Thanks. Email might be better right now.

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